Bye. Thanks for the lift. - See you.
When Kama-Puhaa had become a young man,
he was to be sacrificed on the altar of Pruna.
He was tied to stakes like a pig
and carried to the sacrifice altar by eight men. But Kama-Puhaa managed to...
Are you from the bride's family?
I'm from the party service.
We're checking to see if all guests are really enjoying themselves. - Enjoying?
The music, for instance, is far too solemn.
That's music for an older generation.
After all he will turn 60, next year.
I'm his ex-wife. Ex-wife number 1.
He's dependent and naughty like a little child.
But he has a big heart.
My successors.
He's a womaniser. I was his second wife.
The reason for divorce was mental cruelty.
If you know what I mean. But... he was an adorable sod.
He's a sadist without a conscience.
I regret that we're just good friends now.
I'm number 4. He exhausted me sexually.
He didn't have anything else on his mind!
But I simply couldn't deny him anything.
He was good to us all. He's good to every woman.
Do you dance? - No, my regrets.
What's your name?
Max.
You're not invited, are you? I know all the guests.
Right. Will you have a drink with me regardless?
And who are you calling in the middle of the night?
You're asking like a mature woman.
I have a right to ask. I'm the sister of the bride.
Have you been in love yet?
But it didn't make me telephone at night.
You're lovesick.
I've fallen in love with a woman I don't know.
With a woman you don't know?
Yes.
The other day, I wanted to order cinema tickets and dialed the wrong number.
She only said one word: "Hello?" And then "Sorry, wrong number."
I knew right away: This woman is different from all others.
This is the woman of whom I've been dreaming all my life.
Why aren't you looking for her? You just need to really wish for it,
then you'll find her!
What will I get from you if I find her?
A kiss?
How old are you?
Will I get a kiss or won't I?
Alright. Deal.
Can you imagine meeting another man, dropping everything, and starting over?
Do you sometimes feel that your life is like walking on thin ice?
You're getting a chance to act without inhibition or shame
and not be punished. What will you do?
Eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
From eight till midnight.
Did we have a date or was I dreaming?
I was in a thunderstorm. I had an accident.
My plane crashed. What was your dream about?
I dreamt of festivities, balls, oysters,
drugs, alcohol, madness and excess.
I was a pearl. A pearl on a tie pin.
A pearl on the tie pin of a prince.
Of a prince from Chiputi.
Are you having a tenderness attack?
You've got something to hide.
Be careful not to get caught. Women sense things like that.
Is there some food left?
You've already had 200 grams of meat today. That's enough.
Even German Shepherds get no more than 200 grams of meat a day.
And you little Dachshund?
I'm tired now.
Tired, tired, tired, tired, tired.
All of a sudden, I'm feeling very tired too.
You've had a nice supper
and now, you may harass me a little.
Now what's this?
Do you want to offend me?
When I arrive, I want to see him in the royal position.
After all, my walk from the door to the table was long enough!
That little scoundrel!
All day, he's been sitting in the dark and now he's looking perplexed.
We'll tie a little bell around him, so that I can hear him if he moves.
Such a small and soft and crinkly animal!
I could get into trouble because of it!
My lease prohibits the keeping of animals in the apartment.
We should set a mouse trap!
And now it's getting bigger too!
I can hardly look!
Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Disgusting! Stop! Stop, stop!
Hermann! Hermann!
The psychiatrist is going to be a little late.
Maybe you'd like to talk to the doctor about your low blood pressure meanwhile!
The doctor's an internist!
A nice flat.
Is there something your husband is particularly attached to?
I can't think of anything.
Isn't he attached to you?
What do you mean?
What I said.
I believe he's more attached to his dog.
I don't hear or see anything from you anymore.
I feel neglected.
Why do you always take the night shifts? - I can't sleep at night.
You can't sleep because you're thinking about all the things you might miss!
Your husband has quite an audience.
He won't jump anyway. Those who don't jump within 6 hours never do.
After six hours he should be getting hungry.
You could cook something for him.
In any case, you'll take care of him now.
Very well. I'll convince him to jump
and you'll patch him up again afterwards.
Let him jump.
It's best for him.
The only thing stopping us is the lack of courage.
He's showing it to all of us.
Give him an idea. Give him hope!
For what? I can't think of anything.
I don't know where you're getting your unlimited optimism from.
Tomorrow, one of us will be standing there.
The man has a right to kill himself. - Offer him to jump in his place.
That will convince him. But you're too cowardly for that.
Can I offer you something to drink?
Stay where you are.
If you come one step closer, I'll finish myself off.
Are you crazy?
You could fall to your death!
I'll jump in your place!
I'm serious. I'll jump and you go back, alright?
You're overestimating your psychological skills.
Alright.
Jump!
Attention!
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
You've always wanted to take centre stage, right? Now, what's the trouble?
I could use a schnapps now.
Can you imagine letting a totally unknown man address you?
Can you imagine letting a totally unknown man kiss you?
Can you imagine going to bed with a totally unknown man?
Can you actually imagine a totally unknown man?
Can you imagine a totally unknown woman?
I have to admit that I wasn't prepared for that!
You're my first visitor who's not entering through the door.
You can undress yourself if you like.
I'm on duty.
You haven't introduced yourself yet.
My name is Karin. - Karin!
Do you mind if I'm on top?
Why don't you come in?
Marie arrived just before you.
Cherie! We've got a visitor!
I'll go ahead.
A visitor?
A chance acquaintance.
We haven't known each other for long. I told you about him.
He dialed the wrong number. I've had the number changed since.
Now we probably have to move as well.
Why don't you sit down? S'il vous plaît?
You must be hungry too!
Marie! Please offer our guest something to eat!
An olive?
A tiny little olive.
You're not intending to invite yourself for lunch, are you?
Perhaps you'd like a martini along with the olive.
A vodka martini.
One 3rd of Vodka and two 3rds Martini. And stirred, not shaken, please!
Throw him out!
Did he announce himself?
No. Were you planning to play chess? No.
Throw him out!
He's a peeping tom and a sadist.
In that case, he's got everything women love!
He managed to make me get up secretly last night.
Fancy to look around a little? I'll show you how we live.
I guess you'd like to take a shower first!
There, this is where we sleep.
But as you know, Marie's got a flat of her own as well.
As a sign of her... independence.
Have a look, I've got some kind of spot there.
Is it something unusual? You're a doctor, aren't you?
That's a mole.
- Hello? Who's there? - Hello? - Hello? Please respond!
This is the bed-bunny speaking!
My place is on the pillow.
I'm supple, amusing, sophisticated,
gentle and full of tender consideration.
Fifth floor, last door.
What took you so long?
One can't let you out of sight for five minutes!
One always has to worry that you won't come back.
Give me a little kiss!
Don't always treat me like a toddler! - I'm not treating you like a toddler.
You are one! My little baby...
That's the consulting room. Where your desk will stand.
This is the reception area.
This is where I will sit.
Each time the door of the consulting room opens, we'll see each other.
If animals live in captivity, their fur gets lackluster.
What did you say? Max?
Yes?
You didn't listen to me!
I did.
Really. I was just thinking that if I put my desk here, next to the window,
I can look outside sometimes.
Look outside? - Yes, look outside. Watch the life in the street.
Let's go for lunch. I'm hungry.
Hungry! You're always hungry!
How do you like the rooms? Come on, say something!
What are we going to do now?
Now?
You mean in general? With our life...
...when will we marry, when will we buy the rings...
I mean what we'll do now. Are we eating out or will you cook?
Your zipper is open.
You're cheating on me! - I forgot to close the zipper.
It's happened quite often recently.
There's something behind this!
You're mad! Not every man with an open zipper is cheating on his wife!
I know it. The open zipper has given you away!
You're absent-minded too. - The open zipper.
Ridiculous! - It's an obvious sign.
The zipper betrays you. It's always like that with you guys.
When you've got dirty thoughts on your mind, you forget about your zipper.
That's how you notice it.
It's like leaving the door open when you're expecting visitors.
Don't try to talk your way out of it!
Stop!
If we take out another loan, I could hire a cook.
I'd receive you in our cottage wearing a negligeé
and have a pheasant served that was shot by a poacher.
If we take out another loan, I'll have to kill myself with a shotgun.
By the way, What will I get for having passed the doctor's assistant exam?
I'm governmentally accredited now! - You may take my blood sample later.
Do you like my smock? You haven't said anything yet.
Do you think it's representative enough?
I think I'm an enhancement to our surgery.
Maybe it's a little too conspicuous. What do you think?
If you'd like my opinion as a man: I like it.
As a doctor, I'm a little sceptical.
If you are sceptical, I'll practice without work clothes.
I want to be hunted.
I want to be hunted through the apartment
and brought down in the bedroom.
That's what I wish for now and also when I'm 80.
You'll be 91 then and have no teeth left but you'll still be chasing me.
We'll also need a smaller flat.
Otherwise going after me would exhaust you too much.
I'm pampering your psyche, surrender to me!
You're still holding yourself back -
your innermost self is avoiding the light.
You're now looking straight at one spot.
Relax.
What do you see?
I see the image of a beautiful, tall, but weak woman in front of me.
She's carrying a small, strong man in her handbag.
The more she loves this man the taller he gets
and the more she loses control over him.
The only time I get better therapy results is when I tell jokes.
I'm worried about you.
I know the symptoms.
You're in a state in which intellectual capacity ceases to work.
It's like a psychosis.
The pathological notion of loving somebody.
I've given up fighting it.
The body of a woman.
The breasts that suffocate you. The thighs that clasp you.
The kisses that take your breath. The hair that tickles your nose.
Do it the way you used to:
You meet them, persuade them to give you a piece of ass...
...and off you go.
It rather looks as if she has my ass.
Those who fall in love are vain,
masochist, yearning for suffering.
I wasn't prepared for it.
I live in the present...
and I've always thought that falling in love belonged to the future.
Suddenly, everything's so concrete.
And so sinister too! The lid has found its pot.
That's the sentence for all the lonely hearts you broke,
for all the kisses you didn't return.
What do you want?
I approach women.
There are three typical reactions: They pretend to be deaf,
they get aggressive or they run away.
I'm neither pretending to be deaf, nor am I getting aggressive or running away.
Excuse me. May I have your binoculars for a moment?
Have a seat!
You're intruding upon my life.
I didn't ask you to do that.
We don't know each other and I'd like to keep it that way.
I'm not interested in what you think... or feel.
I'm only interested in appearances.
In your eyes, your smile, your neck,
your legs, your ass.
I don't want to watch you falling asleep or waking up.
I don't know what love is and I don't want to know.
In the end, it's all a question of the skin, the hair, the body odour.
I want our relationship to be as clearly arranged as a romantic novel.
Clear, orderly and divided into chapters.
You're lying!
Now you're even getting sentimental!
Dear fellow colleagues,
Ladies,
I'd like to propose a toast to the shiny new consultant surgeon.
Here's to you, Max! - Cheers. To your health.
Try this! Come on, eat! Be good.
Don't you have any appetite?
If you're in love, you haven't got any appetite.
What do you think of this? Max is cheating on me.
Don't worry. The only thing he thinks about when he meets a woman,
is how he can get rid of her again.
At this table, he holds the record in adultering.
He can't walk past any woman
without consoling her with his physical endowments.
He's a neurotic romantic,
obsessed by the idea that he might meet the woman of his life without noticing.
Each time he's with a woman, he loses a bit of his illusion.
In my case, probably even therapy would fail.
All this is too complicated for me! It doesn't even fit into my little head.
Female brains are smaller than male ones.
As a psychiatrist, you should know that.
Aren't you feeling any guilt?
When I think that life could've brought me a man like him…
Do you prefer educated or primitive women? You know what I mean.
What you need is some stern guidance!
Stir some bromide into his coffee every morning.
It suppresses the sexual drive.
That's what we do at our prison wards.
How many women do you think a man can love in his life? I mean physically.
1000. 2000. Until I turn forty.
How long have you known each other? - I don't know.
I can't keep numbers. - For roughly six years.
A relationship lasts 6 years on average.
Of this time, you're in love for 4 months,
you love each other for 1 year,
you get along well with each other for another one.
You know the rest.
If one believes the statistics, your relationship can't be happy any longer.
But...you live together, you eat together...
and you're still sleeping together.
Aren't you ashamed of yourselves? You both need a change.
Don't you ever think I'll give Max up.
You love me. There's no use in resisting it.
You've won my heart and now I'll stay with you.
You need me. You know that, don't you?
You can't even see what's in front of you without me.
You can't even cheat on me without thinking of me.
I just wanted to feel again what it's like to be in love!
He only wanted to feel again what it's like to be in love!
Let's drink to that!
You've got all the features that I find nauseating.
But I want to be close to you nevertheless.
Why are you saying it so sadly?
I don't know whether I should be sad or happy.
I'm both at the same time.
I'm feeling somthing different from my thoughts
and what I'm saying differs from my thoughts.
I'll leave you...
and... in your remembrance,
I'll become the woman you need.
Beautiful. Clever. Stupid. Elegant.
Vulgar. Temperamental.
Lascivious. Lady-like.
Slutty. Companionable.
Unreachable.
This is our last night. My farewell performance.
I'm stroking you.
I'm kissing you.
I'm biting you.
I'm choking you.
Leave me in peace.
I don't love you.
What do you see?
A man who's rushing into an abyss at 150 an hour.
And what else do you see?
A woman who's rushing into an abyss together with a man at 150 an hour.
Underwater you can see the one you love.
Don't say anything.
I forgive you.
This mood, the light...
Like in the paintings of Turner.
William Turner, 1775 till 1851.
I don't love you.
Are you making any progress?
Max is still reluctant.
Hurry up, or the reconciliation party will be over!
Actually, it's all the little rascal's fault.
You're too weak to prevail against him.
He has bewitched you completely!
Don't you see how indiscriminate he is? He has no stature, no class.
He would snuggle against any woman.
The little monster!
He's lacking obedience and discipline.
He has to learn how to obey. Like a soldier.
A little soldier. A bed-soldier.
And if he doesn't obey, he has to join the latrine commando and clean the loo.
Don't try, it's useless. He's a deserter.
We saw there was still light and thought we'd nip in.
Marie was longing for you so much!
Why don't you come in?
Fancy to look around a little? I'll show you how we live.
Please feel at home!
You'll find the drinks in the next room. - We've brought our own along.
Surprise guests.
Kurt has come because of you. He was longing for you so much.
See how he's smiling?
He's smiling at you!
At me?
Yes, quite faintly. He doesn't dare completely because I'm with you.
I believe he's looking for a new start.
See how he's smiling? - I can't see anything.
She's smiling at you! - Who?
Coco. - She's smiling?
I can't see anything.
She's very shy.
He's so self-conscious.
Don't you feel it at least? He's smiling from inside.
Women sense things like that.
Yes. Now I see it.
He's smiling like a reception clerk.
He's smiling at everybody. - His smile is meant for you!
Try to concentrate on it!
You see? Now she's smiling quite clearly!
She said you've got the same elegant charisma as one of Fitzgerald's heroes.
And that you looked like a figure
in a painting by Renoir.
Why are you telling me all this?
So that you won't miss anything. You're so lusty for life!
And so that you won't tell me that I kept you from anything.
Strange...
I believe she's smiling at you now.
Coco is about to leave Max.
I'd like you to dance with me.
You've got such hungry eyes.
I like men with hungry eyes.
I'd like to get drugged and kidnapped.
The Venus Trap (Die Venusfalle) 1988